“Cats rule, dogs drool.” Ain’t that the truth! 
Gobs of slobber hanging at the ready so that
with a mere shake of the head they become blobby
missiles of slime slinging through the air
to attach to the nearest person or food or furniture.

But not my dog. 
Oh there may be the occasional teeny tiny droplet
of saliva as he sits patiently waiting for a treat
but a simple dab of the floor cleans it right up and for
anything more problematic he uses the handkerchief
he always carries in his pocket.

Cats sneeze, dogs have fleas
and ticks and intestinal worms and
we won’t even go into the host of gross
and despicable things they pick up from rolling
on the ground just before coming into the house and
jumping on the couch to use it as their
personal clean up towel but really they're
just grinding the grunge deeper into their fur.

But not my dog. 
Bugs are naturally repelled by the aura of cleanness
that encircles him like a shield that even the most
tenacious insect cannot penetrate and his fur is like
teflon so if he encounter any foreign matter it slides right
off him and when he enters the house he wipes his
feet carefully on the door mat and politely asks if he is
adequately presentable before venturing inside. 

Cats blink, dogs stink.
Boy do they! Imagine a grungy gym bag that has been
sitting in a locker with a load of sweat-laden clothing
and then that gym bag falls into a ditch full of putrid
standing water and then is dragged across a not-so-well
picked up dog park and then is left in a moldy shed
to marinate for weeks and that’s how dogs smell.

But not my dog. 
He smells like a freshly washed linen sheet just pulled from
the outdoor clothesline of a country cottage except when he is
wet and then he smells like a freshly washed linen sheet that 
has been left out on the clothesline during a brief 
springtime rain shower. 

Cats purr, dogs shed fur
in great quantities flying everywhere to land on clothing
and furniture and into food dishes and drinking glasses
and if you are wearing black it will come from a white dog
and if you’re wearing white it will be a brown or black dog 
that blasts you like a porcupine releasing its quills. 

But not my dog.
Oh I find the occasional strand of fur in the bathroom sink
after he has finished with his morning ablutions of tooth brushing
and face washing and running a brush through his ringlets of hair
and it is so pretty with a sheen like fine tinsel that I just 
leave it there to enliven the otherwise dull bathroom decor.

And so now you can understand why I am a confirmed 
cat person and would never ever even consider
owning a canine – except, of course – my dog. 

It’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo)!

Day Eight prompt from NaPoWriMo.net: In your poem for today, use a simple phrase repeatedly, and then make statements that invert or contradict that phrase.