The dVerse poetry prompt today is all about the pantoum poetry form. As explained by Gina on the dVerse Poetry blog, the pantoum is a series of interwoven quatrains and rhyming couplets. I won’t elaborate further than that (‘cuz I’d just confuse myself), but you can read Gina’s description of the form here.
Below is my attempt at such a poem.
When bored with a sermon of a Sunday morn,
To the graveyard next door I would go.
Among the gravestones I’d play and roam;
Decorum of death I did blithely not know.
To the graveyard next door I would go
To escape stale air and the pastor’s drone.
Decorum of death I did blithely not know;
Off I would dance over rotting bones.
To escape stale air and the pastor’s drone,
I’d blow dandelion puffballs to free the seeds.
Off they would dance over rotting bones,
Then land between tombstones and weeds.
I’d blow dandelion puffballs to free the seeds
Among the gravestones. I’d play and roam,
Then land between tombstones and weeds,
When bored with a sermon of a Sunday morn.
I can almost see you, a small child, dancing amongst the tombstones with a dandelion in your hand. I like the different verbs you used for your “desecration” 😉
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I tried not to trod on any actual graves, if that’s any consolation 😀
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lol
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Nice line: “To land once more between tombstones and weeds.”
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Thank you.
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you took me on a merry dance and that is so what a pantoum should be, wonderful use of imagery and emotional connect, my favourite pantoum thus far!
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Wow! Thank you!
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my pleasure Maggie!
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A lovely romp!
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Thank you! This is a fun form!
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it is 🙂
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Interesting form and successful attempt but who am I to judge before I even try one! Sounds tricky.
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A little tricky, but it was easier than I imagined it would be. You should definitely try it. It’s fun!
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Smiling I am! From your comment before the post (‘cuz I’d just confuse myself) to the entire write. LOVE the line about the pastor’s drone of a sermon. I think probably everyone can relate to that at some time. And most especially seeing / hearing it through a 7 year old’s mind. Also love the idea of the dandelion seeds and the dancing…all that freedom as opposed to the dead lying locked in their tombs below the ground, and those parishioners still sitting locked by adulthood expectations in their pews listing to the sermon drone! Good one!
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Thank you! I’m glad you like it. This was a fun one to write, and turned out to be a bit easier than I had expected, though I’m hesitant to try another.
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Really loved the theme and much of the images. Very nice.
Feedback questions and thoughts:
(Stanza 1 & 2) “Decorum of death I did not know.” What is that? Decorum of death, I get. But it seems you finished the sentence around a rhyme instead of flow. Why did you NOT know it?
(Stanza 3) Why “once more”?
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Thanks for the feedback. As a child playing in a cemetery, I did not think about or understand that it might not be “appropriate” to run around the gravestones and play. That’s the “did not know” part, but I can see how that line is stilted.
The “once more” is because I picked the puffballs from the dandelion weeds that grew among the tombstones, and so when I blew the seeds, they would land back among tombstones and weeds. I’ll think about how I might make that clearer.
Thank you for commenting.
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I made some edits based on your input. Hopefully it reads better now.
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I really liked this Maggie. I can see you finding sanctuary from a droning sermon among the tombstones. When I was young, I loved playing with my friends in a old, old graveyard on our street. We knew nothing of decorum when it came to respecting the dead, it was just a great big place to play hide and seek, and sometimes, hard ball. We got chased a lot… 🙂
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I’m glad you liked it. The cemetery where I played is the one pictured in the accompanying photo. It is a “pioneer” cemetery, and the last qualifying person died sometime in the ’70’s, I believe. It was quite large, too, and there was lots of room to run. The county maintained it, and sometimes the grass grew knee high before they came by to mow. Hide and seek was definitely part of the “play list.” Fun times!
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I love the image of the child blowing dandelion seeds, happy among the gravestones. I imagine the spirits were happy for the young company.
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They very well may have been 🙂
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I remember that feeling well…although I had to stay in and pretend to listen! Much better to keep company with the departed. (K)
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In reality, I had to stay in too. But my parents mowed the huge church lawn on Saturdays and I would come along and play in the cemetery until they finished.
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Melding experiences and memories in verse…what poetry is all about.
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Forgetting where this all took place, I found it merry and fun.
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Thank you. Coming from the Pac NW, you may know the graveyard. It’s at the Clatsop Plains church on the Oregon coast between Seaside and Astoria.
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Then I am sure I have seen it.
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Pingback: Pic and a Word Challenge #176: Entangled pantoum – Manja Mexi Moving
Thank you very much, Maggie, you have have achieved unachievable and spurred me into action. 😉 Here is my pantoum:
https://manjameximoving.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/pic-and-a-word-challenge-176-entangled-pantoum/
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It’s always fun to achieve the unachievable, I like your pantoum, too. Barbies always seem kind of creepy to me, so I just avoided the pics.
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Ahh, I hate Barbies in all other situations. This one had fallen from a floor above and nobody collected it. Kind of felt sorry for her. And she’s naked. And she is still right there in this garden and has been for two years now. Now seeing her makes me grin just because I took these photos.
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This is a great way to explore a memory. Glad there was escape and fun with the dandelions instead!
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Thank you.
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A graveyard may not be everyone’s idea of a playground or a place to dance (over rotting bones), but it is the ideal place to find dandelions! Your pantoum is perfectly formed, Maggie.
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Thank you. There are some graveyards I would definitely avoid, but this one was big and open, and confined to “pioneers” of the US west, so no recently deceased to haunt me.
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Masterfully crafted! I look forward to reading your poetry during NaPoWriMo 🙂
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Thank you. I’m looking forward to NaPoWriMo, also. It’s always fun to see what others are doing poetry-wise.
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As a kid, I used to ride my bicycle through a nearby cemetery. There was a small pond with beautiful weeping willows. I found it a place of peace and I would stop and read the stones and wonder about their lives. I could feel their spirits in an unexplained way.
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Cemeteries can be quite beautiful, definitely peaceful, and often rather interesting.
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