Sermons and Seeds

The dVerse poetry prompt today is all about the pantoum poetry form. As explained by Gina on the dVerse Poetry blog, the pantoum is a series of interwoven quatrains and rhyming couplets. I won’t elaborate further than that (‘cuz I’d just confuse myself), but you can read Gina’s description of the form here.

Below is my attempt at such a poem.

pantoum1

When bored with a sermon of a Sunday morn,

To the graveyard next door I would go.

Among the gravestones I’d play and roam;

Decorum of death I did blithely not know.

 

To the graveyard next door I would go

To escape stale air and the pastor’s drone.

Decorum of death I did blithely not know;

Off I would dance over rotting bones.

 

To escape stale air and the pastor’s drone,

I’d blow dandelion puffballs to free the seeds.

Off they would dance over rotting bones,

Then land between tombstones and weeds.

 

I’d blow dandelion puffballs to free the seeds

Among the gravestones. I’d play and roam,

Then land between tombstones and weeds,

When bored with a sermon of a Sunday morn.

pantoum2

About Maggie C

Stained glass artist, writer, respecter of life.
This entry was posted in poetry, technique and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Sermons and Seeds

  1. msjadeli says:

    I can almost see you, a small child, dancing amongst the tombstones with a dandelion in your hand. I like the different verbs you used for your “desecration” 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Frank Hubeny says:

    Nice line: “To land once more between tombstones and weeds.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gina says:

    you took me on a merry dance and that is so what a pantoum should be, wonderful use of imagery and emotional connect, my favourite pantoum thus far!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting form and successful attempt but who am I to judge before I even try one! Sounds tricky.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. lillian says:

    Smiling I am! From your comment before the post (‘cuz I’d just confuse myself) to the entire write. LOVE the line about the pastor’s drone of a sermon. I think probably everyone can relate to that at some time. And most especially seeing / hearing it through a 7 year old’s mind. Also love the idea of the dandelion seeds and the dancing…all that freedom as opposed to the dead lying locked in their tombs below the ground, and those parishioners still sitting locked by adulthood expectations in their pews listing to the sermon drone! Good one!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sabio Lantz says:

    Really loved the theme and much of the images. Very nice.

    Feedback questions and thoughts:

    (Stanza 1 & 2) “Decorum of death I did not know.” What is that? Decorum of death, I get. But it seems you finished the sentence around a rhyme instead of flow. Why did you NOT know it?

    (Stanza 3) Why “once more”?

    Like

    • Maggie C says:

      Thanks for the feedback. As a child playing in a cemetery, I did not think about or understand that it might not be “appropriate” to run around the gravestones and play. That’s the “did not know” part, but I can see how that line is stilted.

      The “once more” is because I picked the puffballs from the dandelion weeds that grew among the tombstones, and so when I blew the seeds, they would land back among tombstones and weeds. I’ll think about how I might make that clearer.

      Thank you for commenting.

      Like

  7. robtkistner says:

    I really liked this Maggie. I can see you finding sanctuary from a droning sermon among the tombstones. When I was young, I loved playing with my friends in a old, old graveyard on our street. We knew nothing of decorum when it came to respecting the dead, it was just a great big place to play hide and seek, and sometimes, hard ball. We got chased a lot… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maggie C says:

      I’m glad you liked it. The cemetery where I played is the one pictured in the accompanying photo. It is a “pioneer” cemetery, and the last qualifying person died sometime in the ’70’s, I believe. It was quite large, too, and there was lots of room to run. The county maintained it, and sometimes the grass grew knee high before they came by to mow. Hide and seek was definitely part of the “play list.” Fun times!

      Like

  8. I love the image of the child blowing dandelion seeds, happy among the gravestones. I imagine the spirits were happy for the young company.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. memadtwo says:

    I remember that feeling well…although I had to stay in and pretend to listen! Much better to keep company with the departed. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Forgetting where this all took place, I found it merry and fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: Pic and a Word Challenge #176: Entangled pantoum – Manja Mexi Moving

  12. Thank you very much, Maggie, you have have achieved unachievable and spurred me into action. 😉 Here is my pantoum:

    https://manjameximoving.wordpress.com/2019/03/03/pic-and-a-word-challenge-176-entangled-pantoum/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maggie C says:

      It’s always fun to achieve the unachievable, I like your pantoum, too. Barbies always seem kind of creepy to me, so I just avoided the pics.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ahh, I hate Barbies in all other situations. This one had fallen from a floor above and nobody collected it. Kind of felt sorry for her. And she’s naked. And she is still right there in this garden and has been for two years now. Now seeing her makes me grin just because I took these photos.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. This is a great way to explore a memory. Glad there was escape and fun with the dandelions instead!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. kim881 says:

    A graveyard may not be everyone’s idea of a playground or a place to dance (over rotting bones), but it is the ideal place to find dandelions! Your pantoum is perfectly formed, Maggie.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Elizabeth says:

    Masterfully crafted! I look forward to reading your poetry during NaPoWriMo 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Array says:

    As a kid, I used to ride my bicycle through a nearby cemetery. There was a small pond with beautiful weeping willows. I found it a place of peace and I would stop and read the stones and wonder about their lives. I could feel their spirits in an unexplained way.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: Pushes, ripples, eye-openers – Manja Mexi Moving

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