Tag Archives: grief

When It’s Time

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NaPoWriMo, Day 18.

Our optional prompt for the day takes its cue from how poetry can help us to make concrete the wild abstraction of a feeling like grief…

Today, I’d like to challenge you to write an elegy of your own, one in which the abstraction of sadness is communicated not through abstract words, but physical detail. This may not be a “fun” prompt, but loss is one of the most universal and human experiences, and some of the world’s most moving art is an effort to understand and deal with it.

When It’s Time

I wonder how they know.
They make the call.
It’s time to come.
But how do they know?

He’s been gone for years already.
The memory, the recognition, and —
eventually — even the words.

But now he lies here, eyes closed,
erratic breathing, pale skin.
The phrase “death warmed over”
comes (irreverently) to mind.

Still, how do they know?
Mightn’t he wake up tomorrow with
that good-humored sparkle in his eye
and say something silly?
“You’ve grown so tall now;
your legs go all the way down to your feet!”

No, of course not. But still…

His skin is hot.
His breathing is ragged.
I expected clammy and shallow,
respectively.

I kiss his forehead, pat his hand.
I feel embarrassed that I don’t know what to say,
even though he can’t hear me.

I don’t say goodbye, because —
well — he’s still here. For now.
Then again, as I said before,
he’s been gone a long time already.

I wonder how they know.

Weekend Coffee Share (11/12/16)

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If we were having coffee, I  would tell you that I am trying very, very hard to not be political right now. Hillary supporters are grieving. Trump supporters are celebrating. And I’m not really sure who the people are that think vandalism and violence and rioting is the appropriate response to the presidential election results.

But I realized last night that I’m not being political at all. I’m being human. And that’s very important right now. One of the definitions Dictionary.com gives us for the word “human” is “sympathetic; humane.” I might add fallible, imperfect, visceral, discerning, emotive and perseverant to the list.

Regardless of our political stances, we are all human. And so it hurts when Starbucks puts out a drink cup design meant to represent unity, and social media trolls decry the design as a divisive political statement. Since when did unity become a Blue or Red characteristic to vilify?

And it hurts when I watch late night show host monologues of the evening after the election, and it makes me cry; not with laughter, but with sorrow. I try to cry softly so as not to upset my dog, because he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He watches me warily and worriedly, and then he comes over and jumps up to frantically lick my face as if to say, “It’s okay. Be happy! I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

And then I wonder how many parents are trying to grieve discreetly so as not to frighten their young children. And it hurts more. Much more.

If we were having coffee, I would think I should apologize for being such a downer, for being a thoughtless host for expressing my not-so-uplifting feelings. But then I would rethink, and realize that I’m just being human. And I would try to respect that you, too, are human and regardless of your thoughts and feelings about the election or the candidates or the Starbucks coffee cup, we would most likely both be humane about one another’s beliefs.

And what’s a good coffee share without honesty and respect and – if not real understanding—at least a willingness to listen. So please have another cup of coffee and I will respectfully listen as you share your honesty. After all, that’s what a thoughtful host does.

Thanks to Diana at PartTimeMonsterBlog.com for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.