spider sleeps in web dreams of netting trophy flies wakes to find stink bug
Catch of the Day
6
Category Archives: humor
Mistaken Identity
Bobbing for Apples
Halloween Party
Image © Maggie C. 2016
What would Halloween be without a little monster mashing:
Weekend Coffee Share 10/9/16
If we were having coffee I would tell you I’m pleased to be seeing more and more signs of autumn. Leaves turning to vibrant hues, falling ground-ward only to swirl back up in the wind and skitter down the rain-slicked streets…
Okay, so I wouldn’t really use the words “skitter” and “rain-slicked” if we were sitting around sipping coffee. I might more likely say something like, “There go those damned dead leaves blowing down the street. You just know they’re going to end up clogging the rain drains, and then the streets will be flooding all winter.”
Along with the skittering leaves of the season, the autumnal rains have set in. I purchased a Gore-Tex coat a week or so ago to wear while walking my American Eskimo dog Chules this fall and winter. I thought about getting Chules a matching poncho, but with his thick double coat of fur, I doubt he even really feels the rain.
Except in his face, that is. He flattens his ears back against his head, and squints up at me accusingly as he hunker-trots along, side-stepping the larger puddles. I’m sure I’ll have that same look on my face in a few more weeks when the gusty cold winds force the rain from a vertical downpour to a horizontal onslaught. But for Chules’ sake – and mine – we’ll persevere in our daily walks.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’ll be watching the U.S. Presidential debate later today. It reminds me of when I was a child and my parents let me stay up late to watch Saturday Night Wrestling, featuring the likes of The Claw in his black mask (Booooo!!) and Rowdy Roddy McDowell (Hurrah!!!) in his kilt, and Beauregard something-or-other in not much more than his well-oiled muscles and skimpy wrestling shorts.
Invariably the actors wrestlers would end up in the spectator seats, chasing one another through the arena aisles, and slinging wooden folding chairs at one another that would break into splinters upon being cracked over someone’s head.
Watching the staged wrestling matches, one could get totally caught up in the drama and suspense even though you subconsciously knew that after the show these “sworn enemies” would likely be sipping beers together at some dive bar just down the street from the arena.
Wait… what was I talking about? Staged… actors… slinging… drama…
Oh, yes. The Presidential debate.
I’m just glad such nasty slime-slinging debates don’t blow in every autumn. It’s bad enough having to deal with those damned clogged rain drains.
Thanks to Diana at PartTimeMonsterBlog.com for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.
Henhouse, Episode 7
The Literary Styles of Pets
The Skimmer sifts through many books quickly, but can’t decide on which to read until they’ve slept on it.
The Marathoner tries to read all the books in the library, but eventually must concede to exhaustion.
The Ill-tempered peruses the books, and finding nothing of interest (i.e. food treats), sits and stares daggers at the librarian.
The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Animal
Nine Lives
One day you ran away from me.
You dashed between two cars.
With three great leaps you crossed four lanes.
I thanked your lucky stars.
Five dogs behind a six foot fence
you noticed noticed you.
You didn’t see the seven inch gap
that let them slip right through.
Eight inches from your heels they chased;
you couldn’t take much more.
The dogs howled with dismay as you
slammed through your small cat door.
Twas just that morn nine lives you had;
lost eight while on the run.
You scared me nearly half to death.
Now we’re down to half plus one.
Friendly Ghost or…
SPOOKY
Spectral
Prankster
Obviously
Obsessed with
Kidding
You
I’m joining in late to JNW’s Halloween Challenge. 31 days, 31 topics.
Today’s theme: Spooky
Weekend Coffee Share 10/1/16
If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my adventures in landscaping continue.
I pulled some more railroad ties out from the dirt bank that they were supposed to be supporting in my back yard. In reality, the ties were so rotten that the only things holding them against the bank were plant roots that had laced their way through the crumbling wood.
One railroad tie held a defunct wasp nest that dropped out in pieces when I moved the tie. Ah, yes. I remember that nest well.
My lawnmower had inadvertently upset the demon insects a couple of years ago, and they had come pouring out of the holes in the railroad tie intent on retaliation. Unfortunately, the lawnmower pointed the finger at me, and so I was the recipient of multiple wasp stings, wasps caught in my hair, and wasps in my house where they had pursued me when I attempted to escape.
My first thought, when I picked up the crumbly layers and saw the wasp carcasses stuck in the pockets of the nest, was – well, not charitable.
My second thought was, “Hey, I bet my granddaughter would find this interesting!” So when my daughter stopped by the house a few days later, I gifted her with the erstwhile insects to share with her little one. She was thrilled!
If we were having coffee, you’d probably be making a mental note to not invite me to participate in your Secret Santa pool. Hard telling what anonymous gifts might end up in the mix.
But, wait! It gets better!
Yesterday when raking leaves in my back yard I uncovered a small jawbone with some ragged-looking teeth still in residence.
My first thought was, “Hey, I bet my granddaughter would find this interesting!”
My second thought was, “Wow, my granddaughter is going to think I’m really weird if I keep giving her dead things.”
I’m not sure to what species the teeth belong. Opossum? Cat? Raccoon? Regardless, the mystery mandible is in a plastic baggy on top of my fridge, awaiting pick up by my daughter. She’ll be thrilled!
* * *
Would you like more coffee? I’ve got something else to show you that I found in the back yard the other day.
Yes, it once was alive. Yes, it’s now dead. Yes, it’s a bit decayed…
Oh, you have to leave now? Well that was sudden, but okay. I’ll just tuck it away to show you next time.
Trust me, you’ll be thrilled!
Thanks to Diana at PartTimeMonsterBlog.com for hosting the #weekendcoffeeshare.
What Rhymes with Stanza? 