Vertebrate Sapiens

spider

Humans are so creepy,
with only four legs and
hairy heads and
just two eyes that sometimes
have glassy covers or dark lids which
obscure their eyes completely.

Whenever they see me
they jump and scream
and start flailing their four legs about;
you’d think they’d caught a hornet
in their web.

It’s really quite scary.
I wish they’d leave me alone
and go back to where they came from,
wherever that is.

Sometimes I play with them.
I know it’s not spiderly of me,
but it’s such a kick to hear their squeals when they
pull back the shower curtain and find me
hiding in the bath tub.

This Halloween I think I will dress up
as a human.


The Daily Post one-word prompt: Jump

Canine Culpability

It’s National Dog Day. Let’s celebrate man’s best friend (and world’s worst actors).

 

dog day1

“I’m really sorry I did it. Really, really sorry. Um… which ‘it’ did you discover?”

 

dog day2

“I don’t know why the cat dug up the water sprinkler, but I scared him away just before you got here.”

 

dog day3

“There’s something stuck between my teeth? How embarrassing. Do you have a mirror?”

 

dog day4

Cat: “If stealth were a diet, you dogs would starve. Some day I’ll teach you the fine art of aloofness.”

Dog: “You’re a real pal, cat.”

Cat: “Let’s just keep that between you and me. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

Weekend Coffee Share 8/20/16

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If we were having coffee… well, we wouldn’t be. Not yet. It’s barely light outside. I’m dog-sitting for my daughter and her sweet Bella seems to think my wake up time should be 3:00 a.m. It’s not.

Nonetheless, I gave up at 5 a.m. and here I sit, eyes half-mast, cold brew coffee not sitting well in my empty stomach, and plotting a very early nap. Like maybe as soon as I get the dogs fed.

I could go out in search of those golden hour photo ops I wrote about yesterday, but the morning sky is hazy today, and the only thing golden I see out the window is my parched lawn. I guess it’s more of a dark straw color, but “golden” makes it sound much more appealing. And almost intentional.

The postal delivery guy accidentally stuck my neighbor’s water bill in my mail box the other day, and when I took the bill over to the neighbor I joked that I guess I could have paid it for him. His response was, “You wouldn’t want to, I’ve been watering my lawn so much this month.”

Hmmm. Did I detect an unspoken “…and so should you,” clause at the end of that remark? Nah. My dead lawn just helps make his look that much greener. I’m actually doing him a favor. Maybe he should be paying my water bill.

It’s getting light outside now. I’d better go feed the dogs. Then I can take my nap. Who cares that it’s only 6:30 in the morning? Not I.


#WeekendCoffeeShare is hosted by Diana at Parttimemonsterblog.com.

Rare Gold: Early Morning Light

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Shortly after obtaining my puppy Chules, we began training. Chules  is an America Eskimo dog, which is a breed known for ease of training, so I was eager to get started. True to his breed, things moved along quickly.

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The first thing Chules trained me in was the absolute necessity of rising early in the morning and heading out for a daily walk before we did anything else. Anything. Like coffee, breakfast, waking up…

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The reward in learning this trick was that I was often out and about during the morning “golden hour,” when lighting is said to be ideal for outdoor photography. Not that I really knew how to capitalize on the opportunity, but I did get some photos during our walks that I was rather pleased with.

golden1

Now that Chules is older, training is less intense, and we sleep in a bit longer. I rarely catch the golden hour anymore, and a part of me misses it. But not the part of me that likes to drink coffee and have an unrushed breakfast in the morning.

golden2

That part of me continues to defy training. As does Chules. I don’t mind, though, because to me, Chules is more precious than gold.

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The Daily Post weekly photo challenge: Rare

Eight Things

Eight things I wouldn’t want to be:

I.  A big fish in a small pond.
8 big fish

 

II.  Just another brick in the wall.
8 brick

 

III.  The lone fire hydrant in a dog park.
8 fire hydrant

 

IV.  A sitting duck.
8 sitting duck

 

V.  On a train to nowhere.
8 train

 

VI.  A thorn in someone’s side.
8 thorn

 

VII.  Moss on a rolling stone.
8 moss

 

VIII.  Caught with my back — or butt — against the wall.
8 back to wall


The Daily Post Discover Challenge: The Poetry of List-Making

Weekend Coffee Share 8/13/16

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If we were having coffee, I’d invite you to the back deck where we could enjoy the cool shade before the temperature soars later today. I’d tell you that things have been a bit slow around here lately.

After my fall from Grace (Grace being the name of my ladder, of course), I’ve been nursing a sore shoulder and haven’t been able to resume my outdoor landscaping/painting/general mayhem projects. So I’ve been taking on some more mundane tasks: sorting through stacks of paperwork that need to be filed away, organizing old photos, tearing my kitchen apart (with the notion of painting every single flat surface in the near future).

In the evenings I go out on the deck, and whittle away at my “wood sculpture,” a couple of tree branches that grew together in a permanent knot. At first I was just going to skin the bark off and maybe use it to hold and display a small stained glass piece or a framed photo, but now it’s kind of taken on a life of its own.

I’m working to see just how smooth I can make the surfaces using only my utility knife. The branches have multiple layers with differing densities, and the inner wood hardens as it “seasons” over time. I’m kind of doing this “being one with the wood” thing and letting the wood guide its own shaping. (In other words, if I slice more deeply into the wood than I intended to, I pretend the wood is telling me its true shape lies deeper within).

I think by the time I’m done with it, its “true shape” is going to be that of a toothpick. We’ll see what it tells me.

The air is starting to heat up now, so I would suggest we take our coffees inside. My dog has already retreated indoors to lay on the cool tiles by the front door. With no air conditioning except a heat pump/air cooling unit that isn’t worth a darn, I may be joining him soon.

Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you whittled some time out of your day to join me.


#WeekendCoffeeShare is hosted by Diana at parttimemonsterblog.com.

Weekend Coffee Share 7/2/16

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If we were having coffee, I’d warn you again about the obstacle course that is my living/dining area. My stuff seems to have a life of its own, ebbing and flowing; here a conflux of clutter, there a sedimentary slew of who-knows-what; a veritable river of rummage.

The “stuff” isn’t your run-of-the-mill clutter and kitsch. There are tools, paint cans, various wood restoration products… It’s kind of like “Home Improvement” meets “The Perfect Storm.” So instead of saying that my house is messy, I just say it’s “in progress.”

Someone told me the other day that I am very good at tearing things apart. There was no mention of my skill level for putting things back together.

If I drew two columns to depict my Do-It-Yourself projects and titled one “Construction,” and the other “Destruction,” the latter list would likely be much longer than the first. I’m going to try to turn that around this week.

If we were having coffee, I would postulate that my caffeine consumption will surely help me be super productive today. And on that note, I’d best get off my bottom, grab a hammer and get productively constructive.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the week ahead.


Thanks to Diana at Part-time Monster Blog for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.