Bookends (Slaking the Muse)

I began April’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) with a poem about “Waking the Muse.” Now thirty days later (and 30 poems, though not all were posted), I will bookend the month with a sequel to the first poem. Hence:

Slaking the Muse

“Good morning!” I called as I came through the door.
“It’s time to learn what our next poem has in store.”
My muse gave a snort. “I’ve got ideas galore.
But haven’t you heard? I don’t work here no more.”

“What gives?” I inquired, with mounting distress.
“Your pen is not inked and your grammar’s a mess.”
“It’s over,” muse sighed, “perhaps all for the best.”
“But we’ve only just started!” I rushed to protest.

“No more NaPoWriMo, since April is gone.
No challenge, no prompt, so it’s time to move on.
To the bookcase I’ll go, with my Greek lexicon.
‘Midst these two huge thesauri you’ll find me anon.”

“Please don’t leave me now,” I implored with a cry.
“There will be no more poems without you at my side.”
“Indeed,” said my muse, looking ever so sly.
“Under better conditions, I’d perhaps longer bide.”

“What is it you want?” I knew I’d been had,
having first felt so glum, and now equally mad.
“I will double your pay, if you think it’s so bad.”
“Twice nothing is nothing.” Muse knows how to add.

“You can take some days off to relax and repose.”
“That serves as a start,” muse begrudgingly supposed.
“These dealings between us are still far from closed.
But we’d best start composing while I’m yet rhyme-disposed.”

Her thoughts so profound that in awe I must gasp,
at times muse’s musings I struggle to grasp.
My pen moves as fast as the strike of an asp,
and the rest will be history (once time has elapsed).

bookend 1

In the Stars

star seed

I am Capricorn,
the sign of the goat.
Stubborn, hairy, smells bad?
Not very auspicious.

Born in the Year of the Rat.
Twitchy, gnawing,
no sense of fine cuisine?

My tarot card is The Devil.
Need I say more about that one?

“You are a star seed,” said the psychic.
“A star feed?”
“Yes, a star seed. Didn’t you know?”
No, no I didn’t. I’ll have to look that up.
Star feed…

I was born on the fourth of the month.
Compassionate, nature-loving, highly ethical.
Okay, a little boring, but I like it much better than
goats, rats and devils.

Zodiac, Chinese calendars, Tarot,
feeding stars…

I think I’ll take up numerology.


NaPoWriMo Challenge, Day 27:  pick a card (any card) from [an] online guide to the tarot, and then to write a poem inspired either by the card or by the images or ideas that are associated with it.

Preacher

“Will you deliver the sermon?” he asks me.

One Sunday a year, the pastor teaches Sunday School
and asks parishioners to lead the worship service
in his stead.

Ha! Me? Preach a sermon?
I preach to my kids all the time,
mostly in the form of
“Do as I say, not as I do.”

A potential theme for a Sunday message, for sure,
but would it play well to the gray-haired majority of
this small congregation?

I think not.
It doesn’t even play well with my kids.

I hate public speaking!
And I’m none too endowed in the reverence department, either.
No way! I say to myself.
“Sure!” I say to the pastor.

On the given day, I rise to the podium.
(“It’s called a pulpit, dear” an angel whispers encouragingly.
“Shows just how qualified you are to stand behind it,”
scoffs the dude with the pointed tail.)
I look out over the sea of blue perms, bald pates, a few mullets…
and I gulp.

A voice I don’t recognize delivers anecdotes
mixed with pious postulations;
a splash of bible verse, a dash of poignant quotes
and a twist of lame joke.

Stirred, not shaken.

At one point, I tell a story about my young daughter
and I use the word “mom” a couple of times in succession.
From the rear of the sanctuary, a toddler responds.
“Mom?”
People laugh.
“From the mouths of babes,” I say.

Soon enough (or not soon enough, some may think)
the service ends.

Polite parishioners approach and tell me how well I did.
Truth be told, I thought it went pretty well myself.

A diminutive elderly woman tugs on my sleeve.
I bow slightly so I can hear her comment.
“You gave a very nice sermon,” she says, patting my arm.
“Thank you!” I beam.
“Of course, I couldn’t hear a word of it.”
She turns and slowly totters away
toward the cookie-laden tables in the fellowship hall.

At first I’m dismayed that she would complement
without having heard my sterling performance.
(“Performance?” the angel arches an eyebrow.)
But then, I think, maybe she’s on to something.

Without being put upon by someone else’s message,
she is free to rest in a pew on a Sunday morning,
surrounded by congenial peers
(“… and some noisy rugrats,” the horned heckler interjects),

and worship in her own choice of words.

Amen to that, I say.
Amen, says the angel.
Whatever, says the sulphurous cynic.

“Can we go home now?” asks my daughter.
“Let’s.”

Thus endeth my preaching career.

sg 11th partial


NaPoWriMo challenge, Day 23: write a poem based on sound. 

All in the Timing

You don’t think we can, do you?

I know it can’t be done…

I’ll prove I’m right, I’ll prove you wrong.

… by you or anyone.

 

Right down that row, that’s where we’ll go.

In here, it’s called a lane.

Set up the pins, we’ll knock ‘em down.

 You’re really quite insane.

 

You pull Grandpa by the head

and mind his face, I know.

I’ll grab his legs and give a push.

Just take it nice and slow.

 

Steer clear the gutters ‘til the end.

That’s what my daddy said.

Dead center for a hole-in-one.

A “strike.” But yes, Dad’s dead.

 

They all fell down, we’ve won the round.

And Grandpa’s in the pit.

One problem, though, that’s only ten.

Well, just you wait a bit.

 

Pins swept away, news ones in play…

The gears are grinding slow.

And Grandpa clock is smashed to bits.

It’s really quite a show!

 

His casing’s cracked, his springs have sprung!

His hands are in the air.

He’s hit three pins in the lane next door.

I think he bowled a spare!

 

And there it is, just like I said!

It couldn’t be foreseen.

Grandfather clock will strike no more…

… but he did once strike thirteen.


NaPoWriMo challenge, Day 22: Take [a] statement of something impossible, and then write a poem in which the impossible thing happens. “The clock can’t strike thirteen.” 

Mishmash

balance 4

Eat not, you’ll never want for less.
The next worst thing could be the best.
Heed not and you will find the hidden.
Spare the rod, the child has bidden.

Break some rules to mend the rest.
Let the sun rise from the west.
Speak not, others will pause to listen.
Smash the boat, champagne to christen.

If lies be told, pay heed to rumor.
I found my mind and sensed some humor.
The dead of night awoke the living,
so these sage words I’m thymely giving.


NaPoWriMo, Day 13: Write a poem in which the words or meaning of a familiar phrase get up-ended. 

Story Time

golden path 2

Rain splatters in puddles, and rivulets of water snake down window panes.
Snot spatters on child-sized sweatshirts, and rivulets of same puddle above little pink lips.

“Tell us a story, Oma.” Oma has already told half a dozen just since nap time, but how does one refuse such a rapt audience?

“Once upon a time there was a little girl and her little brother.”
“No, not about us! A princess with three fairies!”

“Okay. Once upon a time there was a princess with three heads.”
“No, Oma! Three fairies!”
“Oh, right. A princess with one head, and three fairies with three heads.”

Little girl sits back, satisfied with the new head count.

Little boy chews on the round, magnifier lid of a “bug catcher” container he has pried open. The bug catcher holds a big black spider — correction: used to hold a big black spider before little boy pried the lid off.

Oma gently pulls the lid from little boy’s mouth.
“A magic mirror!” Little girl reaches for the snot-laden lid and holds it up to her eye. “The princess has a magic mirror!”

Oma hands little girl a magic tissue with which to clean the “mirror.” Little girl misses the point. (Just as well. The tissue later becomes a magical horse blanket.)

Future pretend magical horse rolls onto his side and lazily licks his paw.

“What does the princess see in the mirror?” Little girl looks wide-eyed into the magnifier lid.

Probably not much in its current condition, Oma thinks.
“The future!” Oma says.

♦♦♦

The princess learns that an evil horse prince is going to turn her little brother into a horse on her brother’s fourth birthday, unless the princess can stop him.

With the help of the three fairies (one head apiece) and her magical mucous-filled mirror, the princess sets off down the golden path to the dark forest where the evil horse prince with glowing red eyes lives in a dark, dark cave.

♦♦♦

The story progresses — with minor plot changes at little girl’s request — and at last the princess prevails.

Little boy has long since lost interest in the princess story and instead pretends to be drinking water from the insect catcher container which, he informs Oma, has spider poop in it.

Oma assumes that announcement is primarily based on two-year-old little boy’s fondness for saying the word “poop.” After all, the big black spider that formerly occupied the container is a plastic toy.

Oma would, however, like to know the whereabouts of the big black spider. She half-wonders if it’s going to come flying out of little boy’s nose the next time little boy sneezes.

Just then, the beautiful, wise and brave queen comes riding up the hill to the castle in her magical Subaru, and little boy and little girl greet the queen with coughing, sneezing, snot-flinging hugs and kisses.

Oma takes her leave and climbs aboard her handsome Nissan steed to head home to her palace. As Oma checks the magical rearview mirror, she gets a vision of her own future.

In the not-so-distant future, Oma foresees that she will be coughing, sneezing and snorting into her own magical tissues.

And they all live happily ever after.

Achoo!


Based on NaPoWriMo day eight prompt: Write poems in which mysterious and magical things occur. (I don’t know that this qualifies as poetry, but it is mysterious and magical.)

BFF ~ Best Furry Friends

When a new dog you meet,
with a snarl you may greet.

smile a

Invitations to play
will go a long way,

smile b

or sharing a tree
where you both can go pee.

smile c

A trip to the coast,
getting sand in your coats;

smile e

by the end of the day
a best friend you have made.

smile d

Dogs that smile make me smile, too.


The Daily Post weekly photo challenge: Smile

Top 10

piano keys

When I become a song writer,
my Top Ten hits will be:

Heartless Love Song
First Lip Lock
I’ll Meet You in Cell Block A
The Keg’s Gone Dry and the River’s Gone Yeller
(a country hit)
I Left my Cart in Sam’s Tan Bistro

Ursa Major in E minor
Beer Belly Tango
My Boots Died, but They’re Still Kickin’
(another country great)
If I Were a Bitch, Man
Wine and Ding Dongs


In response to NaPoWriMo challenge, day three: write a list poem in which all the items are made-up names.