Couch for One (Plus One)

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A Shared Journey

Ψ

 Getting Acquainted

1.8
your “therapist look”
what lies hidden behind that
nonjudgmental mask

2.3
what will she ask me
or will she ask nothing – yet
wait for my reply

2.4
I trust you and yet
I don’t trust myself to know
in whom I can trust

2.18
I wish you’d somehow
relieve me of this shadow
but that’s not your job

Ψ

Getting Annoyed

3.4
misconstrued feelings
I end up defending thoughts
that never were mine

3.9
I want to be heard
or so you told me, but then
you didn’t listen

3.10
not satisfying
agreeing to disagree
when I know I’m right

Ψ

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Getting Serious

3.11
laid to rest for years
you pulled back musty covers
hurts to be laid bare

3.12
heavy question posed;
answers blowin’ in the wind?
or just flighty thoughts?

Ψ

The Response I Didn’t Say Out Loud

3.16
you look down, she said.
yes I am; I don’t know why.
I will try harder.

Ψ

Self-Sabotage

3.17
wallowing in mire
wish you could pull me out, but
I know that’s my job

4.12
when things go too well
I feel the need for poison
that’s what she told me

4.13
which poison to choose
self-loathing memory loop
usually works

4.16
walking a thin line
why do I find it so hard
to choose happiness

Ψ

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Getting Contemplative

5.13
introspection time
I get your words but do I
want to make them mine

5.20
does it matter why
I feel and think as I do?
why yes, yes it does

6.27
what would I have done
if granted a do-over
hard to imagine

Ψ

Getting Better?

6.28
what will I do now
each day is a do-over
up to me to choose

6.30
So what now? I asked.
Indeed, what now? she echoed.
I’m hopeful. Kind of.

7.22
rearranged my life
or at least the living room
life is next in line

Ψ


The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Shared Journeys

Weekend Coffee Share 7/9/16

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If we were having coffee, I would probably break from my policy of avoiding politics, religion and controversial current affairs. As much as I want to sit with you and talk about how I got the baseboards put on in my living room this week, what’s really on my mind is racial tension, violence, gun control and stereotyping.

I am reluctant to discuss these topics, mostly because I can’t wrap my head around the entirety of the issues. I know I’m not alone in that incapacity, but I don’t want to become yet another voice spewing out my biased rhetoric on matters that I can’t even begin to understand.

I guess there are points of moderation between silence and ranting, and maybe those are the voices we really need to hear. And maybe that’s the voice I need to be. I don’t know.

I grew up in a small town in Oregon. A very white small town. Throughout my twelve years of schooling there, I remember there only ever being one black student in my class. It was in third grade, I think, and he wasn’t even there the whole school year. I don’t remember anything about him other than the color of his skin, but I don’t remember much of anything about those years at all. Or subsequent years. Or this year.

When I went to college, my first roommate was a black Jamaican woman. She told me I was racist because I made distinctions between blacks and whites. Well, there are distinctions. Skin color being the most obvious. And I’m pretty sure she noticed I was white, but I don’t think that made her racist.

I thought I was a racist, but it turns out I’m not. I looked up the word racism in the dictionary. It talks about believing that there are intrinsic differences among races that make one race superior to another. That’s not me at all. (I do think that animals are superior to humans, but that’s another matter entirely.)

I do have biases. I lack exposure to many ideas/cultures/life situations, which leads me to “fill in the gaps” with notions based on my own life experience (or lack thereof). And that’s probably the germ of many misunderstandings right there.

That’s something I can do something about. I can seek to broaden my own understanding and perhaps in doing so, I can cause a ripple that will expand to those around me. Will that stop racism? That depends on how far the ripple spreads, and on how many other ripples are created by other persons.

At the very least, it beats silence and it beats ranting. And it certainly beats killing one another.

Looks like our coffees have gotten cold, so I’ll leave religion and politics for another time. Today I’ll be filling in gouges in my old hardwood floor. And I’ll be pondering the nature of humankind and my responsibility in helping to improve understanding across racial/cultural/social/economic divides.

Sounds like a busy day. Thanks for stopping by and letting me practice speaking and hearing my own voice.


Thank you to Diana at ParttimeMonster.com for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.

Pure White

Pure –
1. free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind;
free from extraneous matter.

Free from difference, inferiority, contamination…

Perhaps, just perhaps,
purity is in the eye
of the beholder.

 

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Pure white flowers, tinged in purple.

 

pure3
Pure innocence surrounded by pure white light.

 

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Pure white flame reflected in purely smooth melted wax.

 

pure4
Pure delight and wonder wrapped in pure white fur.


The Daily Post weekly photo challenge: Pure

World Oceans Day 2016

I am reposting my thoughts from last year’s World Oceans Day. Now more than ever, our oceans are in need of protection.

“How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is clearly Ocean.”

~ Arthur C. Clarke



Expansive and deep,
beautiful but volatile,
ample force to turn
vessels to splinters.

ocean3

Teeming with life,
ceaselessly churning,
an indefatigable
dynamo.

ocean4

Kissed by the sun,
caressed by the winds,
extolled by poets
and sailors alike.

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Sustainer of life
as we know it on Earth,
yet with all its
grandeur and might…

still fragile.

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Weekend Coffee Share 6/4/16

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you I am worried about my dog. He hasn’t been well the past few days; lethargic, eating grass (to ease his tummy, I think), and vomiting his food on a few occasions.

Okay, maybe that’s not suitable conversation over coffee. But it’s what’s on my mind.

I grew up in an environment where cats and dogs were primarily consigned to the outdoors. Cats were mousers and dogs were watchdogs. I didn’t understand people’s close relationships with their pets. Something happens to your dog or cat? Okay, feel bad, but then get over it. It’s not like it’s your child or something.

Now I realize that any relationship we hold is a valuable part of who we are. Of course I care more about my children than I do my pets – and I certainly hope all parents would feel that way – but that doesn’t alter the relationship I have with my pets.

You know that phrase “it’s all relative”… not true, in my opinion. If something happens to your pet, if a baby bird falls out of its nest, if the centuries-old tree down the block is cut down… it can all matter to you, if you are in relationship with it.

So baby birds fall out of nests all the time. It’s part of nature. And it’s not like an endangered silverback gorilla being shot and killed in a zoo (which happened in Cincinnati this week). No, it’s not the same. But it’s also not relative. I can care about both.

I can care a heck of a lot more about the gorilla than the bird. And I can care a heck of a lot more about the safety of the boy who was believed to be in danger in the gorilla enclosure. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t care about a bird.

Caring about a bird or a pet does not take away from caring about any other living being. I can hug a tree and still care very, very much about world hunger and poverty and child abuse and war.

We obviously have priorities, and appropriately so. It’s all interrelated, but it’s not all relative.

Dang, here I go off on another rant during our coffee date. You’re going to dread coming over. I’ll stop now.

It’s supposed to get up to 100 degrees (F) today, something we’re not accustomed to here in the Pacific Northwest. I’m going to keep an eye on my listless little guy, and try to keep us both cool. I’ve got lots of yard work to do, but I’ll work on indoor projects and stay out of the heat as best I can.

I hope your weekend goes well. Thanks for stopping by.


Thank you Diana at PartTimeMonster.com for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.

Drawing on Wisdom: What do you see?

I’ve decided to start drawing. Not because I think I’m good at it, and not because I expect to get “good” at it. Rather, I want to practice seeing. And to practice reflecting on what I see.

Several years ago, I started working my way through the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain. My drawing abilities improved immensely, because the book teaches you to draw what you actually see, not what you expect to see or think you should see.

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A sketch I made in 1998 as an exercise from the book Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

 

Apparently drawing is one of those “use it or lose it” phenomena, however. At least that was my experience.

So I wonder… if I have regressed in drawing, have I also lost some of my ability to “see” things objectively? That’s where the reflecting part comes in. Looking at what I see, if you will.

It will be interesting (to me) to see how this evolves. I’ll keep you posted. And maybe even share my drawings. Like the one below that I drew yesterday. Any guesses as to what it is?

What do you see?

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