Story Time

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Rain splatters in puddles, and rivulets of water snake down window panes.
Snot spatters on child-sized sweatshirts, and rivulets of same puddle above little pink lips.

“Tell us a story, Oma.” Oma has already told half a dozen just since nap time, but how does one refuse such a rapt audience?

“Once upon a time there was a little girl and her little brother.”
“No, not about us! A princess with three fairies!”

“Okay. Once upon a time there was a princess with three heads.”
“No, Oma! Three fairies!”
“Oh, right. A princess with one head, and three fairies with three heads.”

Little girl sits back, satisfied with the new head count.

Little boy chews on the round, magnifier lid of a “bug catcher” container he has pried open. The bug catcher holds a big black spider — correction: used to hold a big black spider before little boy pried the lid off.

Oma gently pulls the lid from little boy’s mouth.
“A magic mirror!” Little girl reaches for the snot-laden lid and holds it up to her eye. “The princess has a magic mirror!”

Oma hands little girl a magic tissue with which to clean the “mirror.” Little girl misses the point. (Just as well. The tissue later becomes a magical horse blanket.)

Future pretend magical horse rolls onto his side and lazily licks his paw.

“What does the princess see in the mirror?” Little girl looks wide-eyed into the magnifier lid.

Probably not much in its current condition, Oma thinks.
“The future!” Oma says.

♦♦♦

The princess learns that an evil horse prince is going to turn her little brother into a horse on her brother’s fourth birthday, unless the princess can stop him.

With the help of the three fairies (one head apiece) and her magical mucous-filled mirror, the princess sets off down the golden path to the dark forest where the evil horse prince with glowing red eyes lives in a dark, dark cave.

♦♦♦

The story progresses — with minor plot changes at little girl’s request — and at last the princess prevails.

Little boy has long since lost interest in the princess story and instead pretends to be drinking water from the insect catcher container which, he informs Oma, has spider poop in it.

Oma assumes that announcement is primarily based on two-year-old little boy’s fondness for saying the word “poop.” After all, the big black spider that formerly occupied the container is a plastic toy.

Oma would, however, like to know the whereabouts of the big black spider. She half-wonders if it’s going to come flying out of little boy’s nose the next time little boy sneezes.

Just then, the beautiful, wise and brave queen comes riding up the hill to the castle in her magical Subaru, and little boy and little girl greet the queen with coughing, sneezing, snot-flinging hugs and kisses.

Oma takes her leave and climbs aboard her handsome Nissan steed to head home to her palace. As Oma checks the magical rearview mirror, she gets a vision of her own future.

In the not-so-distant future, Oma foresees that she will be coughing, sneezing and snorting into her own magical tissues.

And they all live happily ever after.

Achoo!


Based on NaPoWriMo day eight prompt: Write poems in which mysterious and magical things occur. (I don’t know that this qualifies as poetry, but it is mysterious and magical.)

Weekend Coffee Share 6/25/16

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you to watch your step as we made our way through the house to the back deck. I’ve got a dozen different projects going and it’s an obstacle course in here right now.

One new endeavor – which has the kitchen looking like a disaster area – is that I’m trying out home cooking for my dog Chules. After his illness, he absolutely refused to go back on his regular kibble when I tried to wean him off the special diet the vet had recommended. Since I rarely even cook for myself, this experiment may not last long. We’ll see.

I’ve also been “helping” my daughter with figuring out how to get my two-year-old granddaughter to stop turning nap- and bedtimes into a battle of the wills. The great thing about grandparenting is that I can toss out all sorts of advice/ideas/wisdom without having to face any consequences if my suggestions don’t work.

Last night, my daughter (let’s call her “D” and my granddaughter “G” for privacy’s sake) and I were texting back and forth about the situation. Our conversation went something like this:

D: Did you have problems like this?!

Me: It’s not a problem. It’s a challenge 😀

D (tries to reach through the phone to smack me for my flippancy)

Me: G has a good imagination. Use it to your advantage. Make it fun to take a nap. If you give her imagination something to chew on she’ll forget about thinking up excuses for getting out of bed. Pretend to zip her into an imaginary sleep bubble or something…

******* [Long time passes.] *******

D: Just tried that. She’s been up three times since. I “put her in a bubble” to have dreams of us snuggling her. She gave me the bubble back, wanted to put it in her play teepee, and wanted to pop it.

Okay, so maybe that one wasn’t a great idea. Apparently G has an even greater imagination than I gave her credit for. I suggested my daughter put G in an imaginary pair of cement shoes, but it’s hard telling what G would do with that one.

Anyway, I had a good night’s sleep. I’m kind of afraid to call my daughter to see how the rest of her evening panned out. Maybe I should be serving her the coffee this morning. She might benefit from a “caffeine bubble” today.

I hope your weekend goes well. And don’t let anyone burst your bubble.


Thank you to Diana at  Part-time Monster Blog for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.