
your young hand in mine
leading me to adventures
missed if not for you

I put up walls to hide who I really was.
I tried to create the persona I thought
you wanted me to be, but those
carefully constructed illusions didn’t hold up, and so
you saw right through me.
I put on masks, and tried to smile and pretend
that everything was fine, just fine… but
I’ve never been a very good pretender, and so
you saw right through me.
I thought I needed to become someone I’m not, but I
finally realized I couldn’t hide;
There was, in fact, no need to hide.
I simply had to be who I truly am
because even then – as it turned out –
you saw right through me
as if I wasn’t even there,
as if I were, indeed,
just an illusion.
The Daily Post daily one-word prompt: Illusion

It’s not an order, necessarily,
nor a mere suggestion.
It’s something in between.
Maybe an insistent affirmation that
you can do this, so…
do it!
So when the coach gives the order to go,
I go, knowing that yes, I can do this,
and knowing that – in short order –
I’ll be able to do even more.
That’s just the order of things in life.

The Daily Post weekly photo challenge: Order

Oh, there you are! My imaginary friend! I’m glad you showed up. I’m feeling a bit sad today. Well, maybe not “sad” so much… just lonely, I guess.
Anyway, now that you’re here, let’s play! Wanna sing songs? It’s extra fun when we make up our own words to the tunes. Or we could lay in the grass and watch the clouds go by. We can pick out shapes that look like animals and tell stories about what they’re doing up there in the sky.

What’s that you say? You don’t have time to play with me? But imaginary friends always have time to play! They never change; they’re supposed to be there whenever you need them.
Yes, that’s what I said; they never change. Well, sure, I guess you do look older. But that’s okay, ‘cuz I still feel just as young as the day you first…
… imagined me.

Oh.
So you’re real and I’m the imaginary friend. And now that you’re older you don’t need me anymore? I see.
No, no… I understand. I’m okay. It’s just… sad.
Well, you go on, then. I know you’re busy. I’ll just sit here and…
Hey! There’s a little girl over there. She looks kind of sad, don’t you think? Or maybe not “sad” so much… just lonely.

Excuse me, little girl. My name is Imogene. Wanna play? I know lots of cool games! You’re real, right? ‘Cuz – you know – I’m kind of… imaginary.
You’ll play with me? Great!
What? Oh, that girl I was talking to over there? Yes, we’re friends. We used to hang out together a lot when she was your age, but now…
… now she doesn’t imagine as well as she used to.
The Daily Post daily one-word prompt: Imaginary

In order to survive
when fight nor flight are options,
sometimes we have to
hide in place
until the danger passes.
Once the danger passes
we may dare to thrive again.
Sometimes we must
reveal ourselves
in order to survive.

The Daily Post daily one-word prompt: Survive

The lawn mower rattles disconcertingly as I push it into the tall grass of my back yard. A vague image crosses my mind of the mower blade coming loose and hurling treacherously into space like errant nunchucks, and I remind myself to check under the mower deck once the machine cools down and make sure everything is secure.
I’ve always enjoyed mowing. Perhaps it’s the smell of fresh-cut grass, or maybe the instant gratification of transforming a ragged landscape swath by swath into a uniform carpet, literally right beneath my feet. And while I am averse to loud noises, the engine’s sound actually buffers me from the aural intrusions of other human activity.
I can be in my own world as I follow the pattern of circling the perimeter of the yard and working in an ever-tightening spiral until there is no more uncut grass. My mind disengages yet remains alert, and in that alertness I catch a slight movement to my left. A western scrub jay is perched on a branch just beyond my property line.

Blue and white with a soft grey chest, scrub jays are among the prettier birds that frequent my back yard. Known for their intelligence and their raucous, grating call, scrub jays are a mixed bag as far as cohabiters go. That’s okay with me, though. I’m a mixed bag, too.
To the right of the jay and closer in, a black crow rests on my reed fence. I’m surprised I didn’t notice the crow right away; it’s only ten feet from where I’m standing, and looks the size of a well fed cat. Shiny black eyes stare at me. I stare back. Politely, of course.
Crows – just like the jays — are highly intelligent and highly raucous. They have excellent facial recognition skills, and long memories – so long that a memory can be passed down generationally such that offspring can also “recognize” a face and know if it’s friend or foe without ever having seen the face before. As I do not want to be perpetually blacklisted amongst the crow population, I try to maintain good relations with the local murder (the term for a flock of crows). Hopefully my friendly overtures have paid off. This colossal crow could probably cart me away if it were so inclined.

The scrub jay flits away as I approach, but the crow stands its ground. I take my first pass with the mower and look behind to see that the crow has dropped to the ground to survey my handiwork. Perhaps the mower and I have uncovered some tasty morsels in the lawn.
The crow stays close but keeps relocating, from the lawn to the wall that demarcates the eastern border of my property, then to perch in the tree by the back deck. It doesn’t dislodge until I am within ten feet of it.
It would appear that I was not meant to escape to my internal landscape today. I will allow my erudite feathered companion to share my mental space just as we share our physical space.
With my mowing completed, I push the machine into a shaded spot and move to the deck to rest beneath the now crow-deficient tree. So much for communing with the birds.

Maybe the crow wasn’t there to facilitate my “crow whisperer” aspirations. Maybe it was there to tell me to shut the damn mower off, so it could escape the intrusion of human activity just as I try to do. The thought hurts, but I can respect that. And I will try to comply as best I can.
I rise to head indoors, a bit deflated that my whole “I am one with the animals” fantasy has been trounced. A shadow crosses over the deck where I am standing and I turn just in time to see the crow, flying low straight over me as if to acknowledge my respect and say, “thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I whisper. “You’re most certainly welcome.”

The Daily Post one-word prompt: Exposed

young naiveté
yields to curiosity
yet to be betrayed
Y is for youth.
#AtoZChallenge: 26 posts in April, topics to proceed alphabetically. Theme optional.
My theme: a three-line poem each day (5-7-5, haiku form) with the first letter of each line the same as the letter of the day.

question quick fixes
quite often one discovers
quality takes time
Q is for quality.
#AtoZChallenge: 26 posts in April, topics to proceed alphabetically. Theme optional.
My theme: a three-line poem each day (5-7-5, haiku form) with the first letter of each line the same as the letter of the day.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m boycotting my kitchen today. It has nothing to do with not wanting to cook a nice Easter dinner for family. I boycott that scenario every year. No, today I’m avoiding the kitchen because I’m frustrated with my DIY kitchen remodel project. But I don’t even want to think about that, so instead I’ll tell you about my yard.
As you see by the photos, I have lots of dandelions. Lush, healthy, organically grown, beautiful dandelions. I took the photo of my front lawn through my living room window. The neighbors don’t seem to appreciate my weeds as they have a habit of becoming everyone’s weeds when their seeds blow. So I thought it might not go over well if I am observed in my yard proudly photographing this year’s bumper crop.

I still have a ways to go on the whole not-caring-what-other-people-think thing. I suppose on the flip side, it could be seen as a not-being-a-good-neighbor thing to let my weeds grow and spread to the others’ chemically-induced pristine lawns. But we all have our neighborly vices. Screaming kids, barking dogs, loud parties, random rusting appliances abandoned in the front yard… and wayward weeds.
Anyway… what I was going to tell you before I got sidetracked with broken appliance yard decor is that today I came across a recipe for dandelion jelly! I’m kinda stoked to try it, but my stove is still unavailable, what with the whole kitchen remodel thing that I’m not talking about today. I’m thinking maybe if I pick the blossoms and show up at a neighbor’s door with all the ingredients, perhaps they’ll see that weeds aren’t all bad, and they’ll welcome me inside to make the jelly in their kitchen.
Or they might just scream, “Run! It’s that weird weed woman!” and slam the door in my face.

Maybe I should just go out and mow the lawn, sending all my beautiful weeds to mulch heaven. I’ll ponder that idea while we enjoy the rest of our coffee. It feels like a good day to sit back and relax, admire my flowers, and let the lawn, the kitchen remodel and myself have a pleasant day of rest.
For all who celebrate Easter, I send wishes for a happy, blessed day.
#WeekendCoffeeShare is graciously hosted by Emily at NerdintheBrain.com.

how can one be so…
not to see the greenery
for rapacity
(or the forest for the greed?)

The Daily Post weekly photo challenge: Dense