Couch for One (Plus One)

journey1

A Shared Journey

Ψ

 Getting Acquainted

1.8
your “therapist look”
what lies hidden behind that
nonjudgmental mask

2.3
what will she ask me
or will she ask nothing – yet
wait for my reply

2.4
I trust you and yet
I don’t trust myself to know
in whom I can trust

2.18
I wish you’d somehow
relieve me of this shadow
but that’s not your job

Ψ

Getting Annoyed

3.4
misconstrued feelings
I end up defending thoughts
that never were mine

3.9
I want to be heard
or so you told me, but then
you didn’t listen

3.10
not satisfying
agreeing to disagree
when I know I’m right

Ψ

journey2

Getting Serious

3.11
laid to rest for years
you pulled back musty covers
hurts to be laid bare

3.12
heavy question posed;
answers blowin’ in the wind?
or just flighty thoughts?

Ψ

The Response I Didn’t Say Out Loud

3.16
you look down, she said.
yes I am; I don’t know why.
I will try harder.

Ψ

Self-Sabotage

3.17
wallowing in mire
wish you could pull me out, but
I know that’s my job

4.12
when things go too well
I feel the need for poison
that’s what she told me

4.13
which poison to choose
self-loathing memory loop
usually works

4.16
walking a thin line
why do I find it so hard
to choose happiness

Ψ

journey3

Getting Contemplative

5.13
introspection time
I get your words but do I
want to make them mine

5.20
does it matter why
I feel and think as I do?
why yes, yes it does

6.27
what would I have done
if granted a do-over
hard to imagine

Ψ

Getting Better?

6.28
what will I do now
each day is a do-over
up to me to choose

6.30
So what now? I asked.
Indeed, what now? she echoed.
I’m hopeful. Kind of.

7.22
rearranged my life
or at least the living room
life is next in line

Ψ


The Daily Post Discover Challenge: Shared Journeys

Weekend Coffee Share 7/9/16

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If we were having coffee, I would probably break from my policy of avoiding politics, religion and controversial current affairs. As much as I want to sit with you and talk about how I got the baseboards put on in my living room this week, what’s really on my mind is racial tension, violence, gun control and stereotyping.

I am reluctant to discuss these topics, mostly because I can’t wrap my head around the entirety of the issues. I know I’m not alone in that incapacity, but I don’t want to become yet another voice spewing out my biased rhetoric on matters that I can’t even begin to understand.

I guess there are points of moderation between silence and ranting, and maybe those are the voices we really need to hear. And maybe that’s the voice I need to be. I don’t know.

I grew up in a small town in Oregon. A very white small town. Throughout my twelve years of schooling there, I remember there only ever being one black student in my class. It was in third grade, I think, and he wasn’t even there the whole school year. I don’t remember anything about him other than the color of his skin, but I don’t remember much of anything about those years at all. Or subsequent years. Or this year.

When I went to college, my first roommate was a black Jamaican woman. She told me I was racist because I made distinctions between blacks and whites. Well, there are distinctions. Skin color being the most obvious. And I’m pretty sure she noticed I was white, but I don’t think that made her racist.

I thought I was a racist, but it turns out I’m not. I looked up the word racism in the dictionary. It talks about believing that there are intrinsic differences among races that make one race superior to another. That’s not me at all. (I do think that animals are superior to humans, but that’s another matter entirely.)

I do have biases. I lack exposure to many ideas/cultures/life situations, which leads me to “fill in the gaps” with notions based on my own life experience (or lack thereof). And that’s probably the germ of many misunderstandings right there.

That’s something I can do something about. I can seek to broaden my own understanding and perhaps in doing so, I can cause a ripple that will expand to those around me. Will that stop racism? That depends on how far the ripple spreads, and on how many other ripples are created by other persons.

At the very least, it beats silence and it beats ranting. And it certainly beats killing one another.

Looks like our coffees have gotten cold, so I’ll leave religion and politics for another time. Today I’ll be filling in gouges in my old hardwood floor. And I’ll be pondering the nature of humankind and my responsibility in helping to improve understanding across racial/cultural/social/economic divides.

Sounds like a busy day. Thanks for stopping by and letting me practice speaking and hearing my own voice.


Thank you to Diana at ParttimeMonster.com for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.

Follow the… who?

can you imagine 
lemmings without a leader?
who would find the cliff?

cliff

It is a popular misconception that lemmings jump off cliffs in mass “suicide.”  Some species do migrate in large groups when populations become too dense and may encounter losses when — for example — trying to cross swift rivers. As a metaphor for unquestioningly going along with popular opinion, though, it creates a great visual.

The Daily Post one-word prompt: Autonomy

Weekend Coffee Share 7/2/16

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If we were having coffee, I’d warn you again about the obstacle course that is my living/dining area. My stuff seems to have a life of its own, ebbing and flowing; here a conflux of clutter, there a sedimentary slew of who-knows-what; a veritable river of rummage.

The “stuff” isn’t your run-of-the-mill clutter and kitsch. There are tools, paint cans, various wood restoration products… It’s kind of like “Home Improvement” meets “The Perfect Storm.” So instead of saying that my house is messy, I just say it’s “in progress.”

Someone told me the other day that I am very good at tearing things apart. There was no mention of my skill level for putting things back together.

If I drew two columns to depict my Do-It-Yourself projects and titled one “Construction,” and the other “Destruction,” the latter list would likely be much longer than the first. I’m going to try to turn that around this week.

If we were having coffee, I would postulate that my caffeine consumption will surely help me be super productive today. And on that note, I’d best get off my bottom, grab a hammer and get productively constructive.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy the week ahead.


Thanks to Diana at Part-time Monster Blog for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.

Weekend Coffee Share 6/25/16

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If we were having coffee, I would tell you to watch your step as we made our way through the house to the back deck. I’ve got a dozen different projects going and it’s an obstacle course in here right now.

One new endeavor – which has the kitchen looking like a disaster area – is that I’m trying out home cooking for my dog Chules. After his illness, he absolutely refused to go back on his regular kibble when I tried to wean him off the special diet the vet had recommended. Since I rarely even cook for myself, this experiment may not last long. We’ll see.

I’ve also been “helping” my daughter with figuring out how to get my two-year-old granddaughter to stop turning nap- and bedtimes into a battle of the wills. The great thing about grandparenting is that I can toss out all sorts of advice/ideas/wisdom without having to face any consequences if my suggestions don’t work.

Last night, my daughter (let’s call her “D” and my granddaughter “G” for privacy’s sake) and I were texting back and forth about the situation. Our conversation went something like this:

D: Did you have problems like this?!

Me: It’s not a problem. It’s a challenge 😀

D (tries to reach through the phone to smack me for my flippancy)

Me: G has a good imagination. Use it to your advantage. Make it fun to take a nap. If you give her imagination something to chew on she’ll forget about thinking up excuses for getting out of bed. Pretend to zip her into an imaginary sleep bubble or something…

******* [Long time passes.] *******

D: Just tried that. She’s been up three times since. I “put her in a bubble” to have dreams of us snuggling her. She gave me the bubble back, wanted to put it in her play teepee, and wanted to pop it.

Okay, so maybe that one wasn’t a great idea. Apparently G has an even greater imagination than I gave her credit for. I suggested my daughter put G in an imaginary pair of cement shoes, but it’s hard telling what G would do with that one.

Anyway, I had a good night’s sleep. I’m kind of afraid to call my daughter to see how the rest of her evening panned out. Maybe I should be serving her the coffee this morning. She might benefit from a “caffeine bubble” today.

I hope your weekend goes well. And don’t let anyone burst your bubble.


Thank you to Diana at  Part-time Monster Blog for hosting the #WeekendCoffeeShare.